Qualified Condition

October 22, 2008

Tips for a Sanitary Work Environment

Filed under: Non Sequiters for $500 Alex — qualifiedcondition @ 10:31 pm

I have found that it is a good idea to bring lunch to work in small tupperware containers.  Bringing your lunch to work is an effective way to save money and eat healthier.  I have also found that, after eating, it is a good idea to leave these containers on my desk for an extended period of time… perhaps a week… perhaps two weeks…  People are much less likely to come to my desk and ask questions like “hey can I get $5 for the birthday cake fund” if it smells like rotting lentils, oatmeal and chicken skin.  Also, carrying a bag filled with fermenting tupperware rot usually ensures that I get a seat to myself on the train.

When I was a young lad I worked as an intern for the Planning Department in San Luis Obispo County.  I remember being fascinated by all of the Planners’ eccentricities: their desks were usually disheviled messes of maps, papers, files and half-eaten food; they would flee the building erratically for coffee, coffee and more coffee; and they would have unusual emotional outbursts at the mention of bad developers or difficult commissioners.  I would think to myself that I would always be neat and composed and able to find important documents that I just printed five damn minutes ago… but now my desk smells like oatmeal vinegar.  It has come to this.  Time for a coffee.

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