Qualified Condition

October 30, 2008

Have you thought about what Same-Sex Marriage MEANS?

Filed under: Uncategorized — qualifiedcondition @ 2:51 am

This is the question asked by a “Yes on 8” commercial this evening.  It is asked rhetorically, and then there is no answer–as if to say “we all know what’s going ot happen.”  The commercial isn’t intended to disseminate facts or provide a logical argument (“Voting No means tires will cost $900 and your kids will never get into college”).  The commercial is intended, instead, to conjure up a feeling that something horrible will happen, something unspeakable.  And then the commercial does something even more currious; it asks, “What if the kids have to learn about same sex marriage?”  And I’m still waiting for an answer.  I mean, I know it’s a red herring, and somewhat irrelevent, but seriously, what will happen?

I think that we’re a lot better off if we try to envision the reality of same-sex marraige not from a place of fear but a place of reason.  Or, if you’re a big ol’ “F” on the Meyers Briggs, a place of compassion.  Nothing will happen.  Straight marriages won’t crumble, eight year old boys won’t start loving show tunes any more than they do now, and AIDS won’t be in the tap water.  I don’t think it’s going to destroy little Jenny in the commercial’s life if she learns that somewhere in her city, her family or her class there is a homosexual who wants to get married.  (If little Jenny’s childhood is anything like mine she’ll be too busy trying to understand her heterosexual parents’ train-wreck of a marriage to care about the gays).  And for you conservative Christians, Jesus hasn’t trotted in the horses of the apocalypse for Darfur or Nazi Germany or Dancing with the Stars, so I’m willing to climb out on a limb and say that he’s probably not going to doom us all for allowing the gays to become full-fledged members of society (remind me to talk to you about why you think Jesus is so pissed all the time later on).  

Then again, now that I think about it a few things could happen if we, as a civilized society, continue to allow gays to get hitched.  Fourteen-year-old boys might not torment each other with the word faggot as much; families might be a little less awkward about holidays where Mike’s “friend” is coming too; and parents might even consider up-front that when they’re having babies the little one could grow up gay (and decide to have kids anyway.)  That might not be so bad.

The unspoken fears about gay marriage are unspeakable because they’re shameful, wrong and embarrassing.  They are the makings of bigotry (and we can spiritualize our hysteria all we want but if it comes down to treating people differently in society it’s still bigotry and I’m pretty sure that God hates that, especially when we do it in his name).  So let’s either have a fair and reasoned argument about how little Jenny’s life is going to be turned upsidedown if she learns that sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls or let’s stop with the hatefull rhetoric.  Little Jenny is going to grow up to be a fair, reasoned and compassionate person if you vote no on Prop 8.  That’s what’s going to happen.



  1. The insanity of the Yes on 8 camp continues to baffle me. I’m glad Senator Feinstein has stepped up to the plate for the NO campaign.

    Comment by Holly — October 30, 2008 @ 6:45 pm

  2. i still can’t believe we’re voting to take rights away from people… last time i checked that was un-constitutional. regardless of people’s religious and ethical beliefs about homosexuality… they should at least be concerned that they’re contradicting the constitution, (which is like right behind the Bible for some of those folks) and trying to limit what should be a right for all people.

    Comment by xie — October 31, 2008 @ 1:00 am

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