Qualified Condition

November 1, 2008

“They’re Those Things!”

Filed under: Non Sequiters for $500 Alex — qualifiedcondition @ 6:09 pm

First things first.  We had trick-or-treaters last night.  Lots of them, and we actually ran out of candy.  I grew up in a pretty rural area, so we never went trick-or-treating, so I was a little unsure of the proper etiquette.  I did learn a few things though:

Trick-or-treating is wasted on little-little kids.  If you’re under six you’re probably just horrified that your parents are making you have to go knock on all these doors and then weird strangers are asking you over and over “weeeeell, what are yooooouuuu supposed to beeeee?”  Perhaps a more refined appreciation for candy develops after six that allows you to overlook some of the fundamentally creepy parts of door-to-door candy hustling.

There is no shortage of little girls dressed as princesses.  Boring.  At least be a Martian princess or something.

Teenagers, though probably too old to be trick-or-treating are actually really funny when they come to your door, and consequently I believe that they really deserve the candy.

This raises another important question in my mind though: why the crap is Hershey still putting Special Dark in the bag of mixed fun-size candy bars?  Nobody likes Special Dark (and this is coming from the man who likes both black licorice and brown Tootsie Pops, so it’s not like it isn’t in me to root for under-appreciated candy).  People who are into dark chocolate turn their cabernet sniffing noses up at Special Dark, and people who just want to cram their pie-holes full of empty calories think it’s gross too.  I’m guessing many of you have bowls of leftover Special Dark even right now.  Krackle always goes first, then Mr. Goodbar and plain ol’ Hersheys tie for second, and then Special Dark just hangs out until Christmas.

Lastly, the costumes were a big hit.  We wandered around the carnival in West Hollywood and pretty much made everyone’s day.  Here’s a tally of events:

Number of times people said “what are you guys?” 127

Number of times those same people figured it out two seconds later after we started doing the floppy arm dance:  126

Number of pictures taken: 23

Number of times people said to their friends “Oh my gosh, they’re those things!”: 254

Names used to describe our costumes:  Car-wash guys, wacky-wavvy-arm-guys, blow-tubes, wind-socks, crayons, klu klux klan (once, he was pretty drunk and already kinda stupid I’m guessing), pac man ghosts, Moby (that last one was after I took it off and we were walking to the car.

This was a very Happy Halloween.  When’s Thanksgiving?!



  1. awesome! i’m so glad you guys did those- looks like you pulled it off.

    Comment by xie — November 1, 2008 @ 7:14 pm

  2. I guess I’ll hide the pictures of your niece.

    Comment by babies mama — November 13, 2008 @ 6:55 am

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