Qualified Condition

December 11, 2008

Naughty or Nice?

Filed under: Non Sequiters for $500 Alex — qualifiedcondition @ 8:23 pm

I was just thinking that it would be really cool if a major corporation would re-brand a cherished and time honored fictional icon into something really slick and douchebaggerific.  Maybe Lexus could use Snoopy to sell some hybrid SUVs but make him a little more anthropomorphic… get him some rhinoplasty.  Or maybe a sexed up Mrs. Buttersworth could throw on a bikini and start hocking Special K.  Better yet, let’s get Santa Claus on ephedrin, deck him out in Fred Siegel and make him look like a long-lost and coked up Wilson brother.  He’ll sell cell phones, it’ll be perfect.  Oh, wait.  Sprint already thought of that one…


Thanks, Sprint, for reminding us that Christmas has more to do with marketing and sales and less to do with tradition and celebration.  Just please keep the Baby Jesus away from the folks at Toys R Us.



  1. Hysterical! Thanks for upholding the ol’ holiday cheer.

    Comment by Spiny Norman — December 11, 2008 @ 11:41 pm

  2. on the bright side… at least he’s still kinda got a receding hairline

    Comment by xie — December 12, 2008 @ 2:00 am

  3. I guess I’ll have to google Fred Seagull or whoever you’re talking about…

    Comment by Brother Chris — December 12, 2008 @ 8:01 am

  4. Hey, I think you probably meant “hawking” (selling) instead of “hocking” (pawning or coughing up), but the image of Mrs. Butterworth gagging and then spitting out cereal flakes is tops.

    Comment by Ryan — December 15, 2008 @ 12:36 am

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