Qualified Condition

January 26, 2009

Sportsman Salad?

Filed under: Retirement Flyers, Uncategorized — qualifiedcondition @ 11:29 pm


It has been a little while since we’ve seen a retirement flier together, so I’m very pleased to bring you this full-color beauty.  This particular department’s graphics division seems to be heavily engaged in creating high-quality retirement fliers, one might even say at the expense of doing actual professional work.  But we’re not here to complain.  Fortunately a lack of profound typographical faux pas frees up more time to discuss the content of the flier itself.

First of all there is a jet.  Pointed skyward.  Evidently Tom’s retirement will allow him to soar to new heights at mach speed.  Either that or the jet is meant to engage the inner-5th grader who thinks that jets are rad.  Perhaps we should have thrown in a Lamborgini for good measure.  Maybe a dinosaur?

Second, the party is at the “Sportsman’s Lodge” in Studio City.  We’re going to overlook the low hanging fruit and not make fun of the Valley and instead we’re going to ponder what exactly goes on at the Sportsman’s Lodge.  Are there funny hats or is it a male-oriented adult film set? (Sorry, I guess that’s a joke about the Valley).  More specifically, what exactly is in the Sportsman Salad?

Lastly, when you encounter a government employee who is wearing an ID on a lanyard around his or her neck you know you’re in for a good time.  Happy retirement you jet-set sportsman you.



  1. I am intrigued by the fact that people seem to think writing is something you can take up professionally when you retire because you have so much “life experience” that how could it not just naturally shape itself into an awesome novel or memoir? Perhaps I’m wrong and Tom has been diligently taking writing classes and writing in small spurts for years, or he just wants to write for fun, in which case I’ll shut up and stop being a snob.

    I’m also intrigued by the Sportsmen’s Salad. Why do I feel like it comes with venison?

    Comment by Cheryl — January 27, 2009 @ 1:28 am

    • Perhaps there are some aeronautical engineers who might wonder the same thing. Maybe it’ll be limericks and paper airplanes.

      Comment by qualifiedcondition — January 27, 2009 @ 3:42 am

  2. I’m concerned about the meal choices. You can have chicken OR filet mignon AND salmon. What?!? Who chose chicken?

    Comment by Amy — January 31, 2009 @ 12:24 am

  3. Yeah, it occurred to me later that perhaps airplane-building required some formal training too.

    Comment by Cheryl — January 31, 2009 @ 12:31 am

  4. I would like it to be known that I hope this feature continues, even if I am struck dumb by its awesomeness and thus have nothing nice to say about it.

    Comment by L. Hollyfeld — January 31, 2009 @ 1:52 am

    • I hope you caught the older ones? I’m still hoping that Ira Glass will discover the brilliance that is Retirement Party Fliers and do an episode. Twist my arm to naaaa-rrate!

      Comment by qualifiedcondition — February 2, 2009 @ 5:53 am

  5. Very nice site and great flier. Cheers!

    Comment by Health Guy — March 12, 2009 @ 6:11 pm

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