Qualified Condition

March 31, 2009

No Grapes!

Filed under: Uncategorized — qualifiedcondition @ 6:51 pm


Throughout the mid-to-late 20th Century Cesar Chavez fought to bring rights to farm workers in California and throughout the nation. Yesterday, we celebrated his legacy by giving a Monday off to local government employees. There are no farms in my immediate vicinity, but I’m pretty sure that the workers were, well, working, and I got to use the day to run a bunch or errands related to my bourgeois existence. Hooray! Chavez lives on!

I was complaining not long ago about some knee problems, so I thought I’d give you an update. My doctor sent me to a physical therapist in lieu of my original request to have my legs replaced with those of a recently diseased college track star. This fits better into my PPO and means I can finally stop hanging around Oxy College with a trip cord and a bottle of chloroform.

Physical therapy is pretty fun, actually. You show up and a hot guy who looks like he fell out of last month’s Mountain Air Sports Catalogue rubs your legs and gets you to do some tricks with balls and straps and stuff. What’s not to like?

This last Sunday I was able to finish 13.2 miles. 13.2 very slow miles. Okay, it might have been 11 miles, I lost count of how many times I went around the Silver Lake reservoir because I was going so damn slow. Let’s just say that I ran enough times to hear Hot Chip’s cover of “Transmission” about a million billion times and not get sick of it because pretty much every Joy Division cover turns out awesome. Okay, maybe the way they say “daunce” instead of “dance” is a little precious, but let’s not put too fine a point on things.

I am feeling a glimmer of hope that I might actually be able to run the marathon. At this point the question in my head relates more to whether or not it’s worth it to run the marathon if I’m not actually “running” (please make your own air quotes right there) and what do they mean by registration fees being “non-refundable”? Surely Cesar E. Chavez would have wanted me to get a full refund if I have a valid medical excuse that was not written by my mother and related to using the time to instead finish my chemistry homework.

I talked this over with Walter, and his response was “oh, you’re going to go to the kitchen now? Okay, I’m going to follow you to the kitchen. I’m now following you to the refrigerator and then to the sink, and then back to the refrigerator, man this is all so fascinating. Oh wait, we’re going back to that other room now, okay, so I’m following you over there now…” That guy’s a chump; I’m not asking him for any more advice.



  1. whoa… i just read “hot guy” “rubs your legs” and “tricks with balls” [snickering]

    Comment by xie — March 31, 2009 @ 9:41 pm

  2. …so what’s not to like?

    Comment by qualifiedcondition — March 31, 2009 @ 10:06 pm

  3. ..if those three things don’t send one to some sort of giggling-fest, then read on about “straps and stuff” & let the snickering begin!

    Comment by Spiny Norman — April 1, 2009 @ 7:09 am

  4. When stealing legs off the dead, it’s very important to match complexion while the donor is still living. Just FYI.

    Comment by Jame Gumb — April 1, 2009 @ 2:57 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: