Qualified Condition

April 8, 2009

A Short One

Filed under: Uncategorized — qualifiedcondition @ 3:52 pm

Things have been a little busy, and with work in particular, unpleasant.  I’m not one of those people who secretly (or openly, for that matter) gets off on being really busy or having a dysfunctional work/personal life relationship, so I’m hoping to effect some kind of change in this department real soon.  Yesterday I was fanticizing about whiskey in the coffee, this can’t go on.

Basically a normal day goes like this:

Arrive at work, phone is already ringing.  Why does it do that annoying French ambulance sound instead of just ringing?

Boss: Hey, we’re making you work on that dumb thing that we said no one was going to have to work on.  Also, we found eight other dumb things, and since you made eye contact, we’re giving them to you.

Co-worker:  Did you hear that they’re laying everyone off AND taking everyone’s kidneys?

Member of the Public:  How dare you let some build blabidybla blablibidy bloo traffic.

Copy Machine: Fuck you bitches, I’m going to jam up and catch fire.

Suffice to say, I’m not giving off happy fun vibes all the time these days.  Maybe you can help.  Please consider the following, and I think we’ll all be back to normal soon:

Don’t say or write the word “prolly.”  Actually, that’s not even a word.  Don’t say or write the thing “prolly.”  It’s probably. P-R-O-B-A-B-L-Y.

The whole ladies first thing on elevators has got to stop.  Just get on the damn elevator first if your standing closest to it.  Don’t get all 18th century and throw your coat down over the crack–just get on the damn elevator you’re holding us up.  I know I should be more patient and present and all that, but right now I’m not, because I’m in an elevator and the elevator is taking me to my crap job.  Also, take the stairs if you’re going just one floor.  From now on.  Forever.



  1. I hate it when people open get off on anything at work.

    Especially the coffee pot.

    Comment by Lazlo — April 9, 2009 @ 4:29 pm

  2. Openly.

    Comment by Lazlo — April 9, 2009 @ 4:30 pm

  3. When I moved to la I was surprised by ladies first. I have not lived or worked in an environment so dogmatic about ladies first! Maybe it’s only city hall? It’s weird.

    Comment by Blake — May 14, 2009 @ 2:39 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: