Qualified Condition

June 10, 2009

Big Twitter is Watching You

Filed under: Uncategorized — qualifiedcondition @ 4:52 pm

Everyone knows that the Internet serves three basic purposes: porn, stalking, and on line banking.  Twitter, the super-minimal chatty-networky device that newscasters and Senators can’t shut up about doesn’t really fit into any of these categories, and I have been struggling to understand its utility.  Until recently.  Twitter is for stalking.

While at JFK (oh yeah, we went to New York for a couple of weeks, more on that later, it was RADICAL) I read a “tweet” from one of my favorite bloggers, The Sneeze.  The tweet read something to the effect of “At JFK near that one restaurant, where that one thing happened,” (paraphrased, I can only waste so much time at work) and was accompanied by a photo of said restaurant.

“Holy shit,” I said to myself, “we’re sitting by the same restaurant!”  And so I began my quest to ferret the man who introduced me to Cuitlaccoche.  “Well I know he has kids,” and “he has to be a 30-something nerdy white guy.”  I did laps around the terminal, looking for a dude with an iPhone surrounded by mad-capped hilarity.  Finally I checked Twitter again.  It read: “Hey 2 guys sitting at gate 19 discussing the sneeze. I’m sitting right behind you.”  I think maybe I screamed.



  1. Although I regularly mock my ex for her obsessive privacy (she refuses to engage in any sort of social networking whatsoever despite spending all kinds of time online)…this level of internet-fueled intimacy might be a little much even for me. Mostly because I’m sure I would have been scratching inappropriately when spotted by the Tweeter. Twitter, I continue to resist thee. For now.

    Comment by Cheryl — June 10, 2009 @ 6:11 pm

  2. haha… that is the best Twitter story i’ve read.

    Comment by christie — June 10, 2009 @ 8:36 pm

  3. So, was he a 30-something nerdy white guy?

    Comment by Spiny Norman — June 11, 2009 @ 1:07 am

  4. @Cherly, yes, it occurred to me that I might be doing something a little creepy the moment I actually met the guy and realized that I might actually look like a psychotic fan using an iPhone like some kind of beach metal detctor. Fortunately he agreed to let me have his baby and we’re BFFs.
    @Spiny Norman, he was actually a 50-year-old black woman. Werid, huh?

    Comment by qualifiedcondition — June 11, 2009 @ 3:52 am

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